Raise your hand if you are an introvert…oh who am I kidding if you’re an introvert, you’ll do most anything to not raise your hand.

How do I know this? Because I’m an introvert too. I didn’t want to believe it but; Hi my name is Leyda and I am an introvert.

I didn’t even really know I was until recently when things started to add up. I’ve always been one to keep a journal; new journals make me feel nostalgic. It’s like Christmas when I open up a fresh notebook, with the blank pages just waiting for my thoughts to run wild. But that’s just it, I’ve always been better at talking to a journal or a small group of friends than I have large crowds.

Now I know some of ya’ll might be think; how are you able to function in the military? Don’t you have to speak to large crowds? Don’t you have to conduct briefs large groups?

Yes, and yes, but you want to know the truth? Public speaking has been an ongoing battle for me. It’s something that I most definitely have to practice and continue to perfect. I struggle even now to get up in front of people and talk.

This brings me to blogging, I feel like I’m able to express myself from the words on this screen than I would be speaking to a large group. So, thank you for allowing me to share myself, my family and my life with all of you.

With that being said it brought me to revisit some of my old journals that I’ve kept; I counted over 15 journals, pretty sure there are others not included here but these are the bulk of them. I started writing in journals at around age five or so. At that time, it was mainly practicing my penmanship and small little doodles.

These journals have been my saving grace, my escape and my safe place where I was able to be my most creative. It was where I could save my keepsakes, ticket stubs, newspaper clippings all the mementos that bring a smile to my face many years later.

Browsing through the papers felt like diving into a time capsule. I was getting to know myself again, laughing at all the ridiculous things I ranted about, or drew amongst the pages. I discovered that I was really into Dean Cain (Superman) at the time and that I would repeatedly draw similar patterns.

The journals reminded me of some spectacular times and some that I would rather forget. But without my journals I probably would have forgotten about all of those moments. Like when moving back to Texas was more difficult than I expected, or when my Dad went overseas for an extended period of time. First days of school, celebrations, secrets all kept within the pages of my journals.

Journals have been my escape for a long time because, the pages have never betrayed me nor judged me for anything that I’ve admitted to. Journals have allowed me to shout as loud as I wanted, laugh, hide, hoard away my thoughts and mementos.

Though I didn’t take any pictures of the inside of my journals (for obvious reasons) Here is a glance from my past.

Sincerely the vulnerable but sometimes brave,

Leyda Kanzler